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The Bumper Book of Bow Locks

So, what's this web page all about then?

It all started at a May Day Black Pig gig at Belvoir Castle (pronounced 'beaver cassull') in Nottinghamshire. Yours truly said "You see those big sheds to the north east - up against the escarpment? Well, they're for keeping elephants in!" and continued into the sceptical silence which followed, "There is a circus that over-winters there. I've seen it from the train." Another B Pig (whom we shall call 'Kev' - for 'twas he) responded, "Ohmigod! Another entry for the 'Bumper Book of Bow Locks'". (At least I think that is what he said...) Thus was the idea for this page of trivia born. Please email all contributions to 'bowlocks' at 'deuchars.org.uk'. Ta! Chris D (aka Dr Pig), Dance Foreman 2003 - ....

1. BOW LOCKS

As any fule know, Bow Locks are side by side navigational structures which enable the passage of boats from the tidal River Lea in the east end of London to the semi-tidal Bow Creek, part of the so-called Back Rivers. The locks are unusual in that they have two sets of gates because sometimes one river is the highest and sometimes the other. They have recently been upgraded to minimise the introduction of silt into Bow Creek. The lock keepers house at Bow Locks was also the home to the tv show Big Breakfast - two loads of Bow Locks in one! [CD]
If you want to see some good photos of a pair of Bow Locks, either go a-googling at http://images.google.co.uk or look at http://www.tuesdaynightclub.co.uk/Tour_93/bowtide.html and http://www.mike-stevens.co.uk/metrocuts/lee/photos.htm for a start.

Note: all the following entries are in reverse order of receipt - this is so regular visitors can see the latest additions without having to scroll down every time. Current update: Sunday, November 14, 2010

15. PIGGIN CIDER BEERMATS



I am sure someone in the side knows more about this than they were letting on (Cider Rob perhaps?) but as this stuff was brewed briefly by Sternolds, literally a stone's throw from Black Pig Border's practice room at Giltbrook, I don't think it is a coincidence!
...contributed by Andy P

14. RUBBISH P.I.G.s


Here's where the rubbish pigs end up! - I found them outside my cousin's bar (typically) in Wisconsin, USA.
Nicki

13. PIGGIN ORGASM ANYONE?

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
...quoth Kevin W

12. 'LOADS-A-BUTCHERY' IN DONCASTER!


On a day out in sunny Doncaster (yes, really!) we found this fine specimen on a pillar... ...at the entrance to the meat market. [CD]

11. MARKEATON BUTCHERY?


Whiling away a sunny afternoon, we found this suspicious sign outside the farm shop at Markeaton Park on the outskirts of Derby. We kept well away! [CD]

10. NORTH SEA OILY PIGS?


This highly dubious sounding substance was sampled by Theresa (Beeswing) Pig and Nick (Slider) Pig at a beer festival cum motorbike rally somewhere I have forgotten :-) It is described as being, well, black and oily! [T&S]

9. BLACK PIG BORDER AND THE COTSWOLD CONNECTION?

Not wishing to allow common sense to get in the way of a good story, Jan, my spouse and fellow pig noticed the other day that not only is the great 1974 Cotswold dancing tome "A Handbook of Morris Dancing" known for obvious reasons as 'The Black Book', but that the author's surname is 'Bacon'! Prophetic or just plain spooky? (Arguably it is just silly - but there you go :-)) [JD]

8. BLACK PIGS MAY BE OLDER THAN THOUGHT


At the church at Maughold Head on the Isle of Man is this Black Pig on an ancient grave fragment amongst many of all the usual celtic stuff. [CD]

7. PIGS AVOID CANNIBALISM BY INCHES!


On a restaurant sign in York - still not quite sure what this is all about! We didn't go in to find out. [CD]

6. TWO DIE IN HUNGARIAN PIG SHOCK HORROR

Tue, 27 Nov 2001
From: Rollo Tomasi
BUDAPEST (Reuters) - The annual pre-Christmas swine slaughter in a southwestern Hungarian village came to a shocking end after one man died of electrocution while trying to stun a pig, whose owner then died of heart attack.

Celebrations at the pig-killing party in Darvaspuszta took a turn for the worse on Saturday when an unnamed visiting Croatian man shocked himself to death while trying to knock out a pig with a homemade electric pig stunner, national news agency MTI said

A local man ended up in hospital with an irregular heart rhythm after attempting a rescue by trying to unplug the device.

The shocking accident so upset the pig's owner, he suffered a heart attack and died.

There was no word on the fate of the pig. [VM]

5. GLASGOW UNDERGROUND

Glasgow is possibly the only non-capital city in the world to have an underground railway system. As one might expect, there were considerable budgetry restraints during building, with the result that the platforms were built of timber. This is/was treated regularly with creosote. Apart from modern problems with the toxic nature of this substance (which ironically make it ideal for killing anything which might attack the timber!) creosote is also renowned for providing beneficial effects for those people suffering bronchial complaints. Sufferers would often take the tube for other than mere transportation. Indeed, it is said that 'Tubes help you breathe more easily'!
[Frost Report, 1970-something, CD]

4. SEVENS

On the 7th of the 7th, 1977, a Mrs Elsie Severn of 7, Severn Street, Upton-on-Severn 'just happened' to be 77 years old. ...Allegedly. [CD]

3. CHEESEHEAD PROTOCOL FAQ

Q. "I am now 'wearing' the triangular cheesehead hat you so kindly gave me, but is there any significance in the orientation of the triangle, is the question, do you think?"
A. "Face Mecca, twirl cheese head three times, and then return to the spot that felt the best." [RU]

2. DEE'S HORSE...

...was recently gelded. The testicles weighed in excess of three pounds! (2.4 Kg?) [D]

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